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((( Where people with eating disorders recover )))

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Jealousy [20 Aug 2011|02:59pm]

Hi! Please read and tell me what you think?

I had an eating disorder until about two years ago. I am happy to say that I've been eating very healthy and without much guilt, but the perfectionism is still there. One of my biggest issues right now is being very jealous.

My fiance honors his honesty, but in the beginning of our relationship it became a bit obsessive. At the same time I was just recovering and needed a lot of approval. If I asked him something about appearances he would be brutally honest. Most of the time he would tell me I looked amazing, which he really does think, but if I would go further and make him objectivally compare me to someone, he would answer it was too difficult. Differant strengths that you just can't compare. Sounds pretty logic, right? Until you ask about his ex. Then you realize you really want a better answer than that. They had just split up and he even called me by her name twice... The worst thing was when her face accidently popped into his mind while we were... you know... and he had to tell me that in that precise position she looked more exotic and better than me. That kills me. This was a year ago, and we both know that we were both sick in a way. He with his honesty-obsession, and me with my wanting-the-ultimate-truth-obsession. He will not stand for these things anymore, and tells me that I am the most beautiful girl he has ever seen, and that this other girl has nothing against me. What I wonder is... can you really heal those scars? The things he said are said, no matter if he was clouded by an obsession.

He is the most amazing man in the world. He would sacrifice anything for me, and I know this. He loves me.

But this kills me.

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Weight loss reviews [27 Jul 2011|09:13pm]
[ mood | excited ]

I just stumbled across this review site. The Lipo 6 reviews I read on this page is actually really good, better than the ones I use to read. I like reading reviews about weight loss products because I have struggled with weight problems for years and there is actually some very good tips in reviews.

Here's the site, hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

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More friends, more support at new community, luv_is_beauty [11 Feb 2011|12:58pm]

 Hey friends!

Just wanted to tell you about luv_is_beauty ,a new support community for those with/who have recovered from eating disorders! The more friends and support the better, right?! Since luv_is_beauty is so brand spankin' new, its focus is extremely flexible and open to input! Help shape a support community that fits your unique needs!! So come, check out luv_is_beauty 's profile and journal and connect with people who understand you!:)

See you there!

PS. I have nothing but respect for feedyourmind and do not judge anyone based on their opinions on eating or weight-loss. If you read luv_is_beauty 's profile and find that it is not for you, I completely understand. I am not here to offend, or push ideas on anyone; I am simply suggesting you check out a new community to add to your supports on lj! 

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A Local Zine [25 Jan 2010|10:52am]

[ mood | hopeful ]

If you or anyone you know has suffered from an eating disorder, would you write a short bit about your experiences for a local project? We're working on a local zine to promote eating disorder awareness and truth behind it.

Please e-mail foodfeelings@gmail.com, and I'll send you a confidentiality agreement (we will not disclose ANY of your personal information). Here are some questions you can consider when writing about your experiences:

1. How old were you when you first realized you had an eating disorder?

2. How old do you think you were when it first started?

3. Do you think that the modeling/advertising/movie industry had any influence on your attitudes towards food or your body?

4. How did you feel about dieting? How do you feel about diets now?

5. Have you ever sought help for your eating disorder? If so, in what form?

6. Do you idolize any celebrities now? Did you idolize any before or during your eating disorder?

7. Do you know anyone else who has had an eating disorder?

8. Do you have any personal stories about experiences related to your eating disorder that you'd be willing to share?

9. Do you think your eating disorder involved control?

I know this is a very sensitive issue, so I really appreciate your help. <3 ~Kristi

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Reocvery Penpals! [22 Nov 2009|12:12pm]

Looking for penpals. I think this would be a positive source of support for those who struggle but really want to recover! I would like people who will write a good bit, not just once a month, recovery is a daily struggle!

Info: 22/F/USA, Young Professional, Liberal,
ED History: Current-Bulimic, ED-NOS, afraid when the bulimia slips I'll use other behaviors
Recovery: Seeked out help for recovery 1 month ago, psychiatrist and ED Specialist
Medications: Lamictal
Other diagnosis: Borderline, PPD
Who knows about my disorder: My treatment team, 1 friend, family and boyfriend do not know

If there is anyone who is trying to recover out there around my age with Bulimic/Ed-Nos struggles and would like to be my penpal comment!
3 comments|post comment

can't stand it [19 Nov 2009|02:55pm]

getting close to saying eff it all
food is making me sick

want Gaga legs

gym not working
been going for months
what do I have to do?
go vegan?

I need a drink
and it's not even 3pm
7 comments|post comment

Thank You! [17 Nov 2009|01:07pm]
I just wanted to give everyone a big thank you for the great response on the documentary series that I'm working on! It's very inspiring! I know the issues we're touching on are very sensitive and private and I really appreciate everyone who has stepped up and contacted me. We're still working on it so feel free to e-mail me if you want more information!

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the thoughts... [16 Nov 2009|04:20pm]

Well, I'm up to a healthy weight now.
I work out, but not obsessively -3 or 4 times a week for about an hour at the gym (my saving grace).
I don't eat junk (except all that ice cream on my birthday).

But I look in the mirror...
...and still cannot be satisfied.

I am still constantly comparing myself to thinner girls.
Always, always comparing.
And usually to younger girls who haven't even hit that stage where they pack on that extra padding.

Why do I keep doing this???
I know better.
I'm too old now to be doing this.

And yet...
...I hate myself for every last calorie.

Still constantly thinking about food.
When my next meal will be.
How fattening it might be.
Instead of how tasty and good for me it might me.

Does this ever go away?
It didn't go away when I was starving and a stick.
Where is the hope?
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[14 Nov 2009|10:32am]

today is my first day fasting.

need support
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May Interest You [10 Nov 2009|01:05pm]
Hi everyone,

I'm working on a new documentary series that will focus on women between the ages of 18 and 28 struggling with difficult issues like eating disorders, self harm, and intimacy issues.  Let me know if you're interested or if you have any questions!  Feel free to message me or e-mail me directly at kellylafer@gmail.com.  I'm kinda new to LJ so please be patient with me!


- Kelly
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Eeek [21 Oct 2009|01:36pm]

Okay last night was bad. I ended up drinking a little. Some rum, vodka, shnapps and beer. Also, I got the "munchies." Ended up eating about 500cal over my limit :(

I'm not fretting on it though. It's a suprisingly beautiful day outside and i think i might go for a run or do a workout video. Something to work up a sweat. I just ate some veggies, so at least until i digest a lil, maybe i take my dog for a walk.


p.s. This community can't die!!!!
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Why hello there! [18 Oct 2009|10:00pm]

Havn't posted in forever....basically. Im just too ashamed of myself. I was doing SO unbelievably well!!!! Then my b-day came and it ALLL went downhill. I decided a little bit of this, a little bit of that was okay and i lost control. Over 3 months before i managed to lose about 10lbs of weight. REAL weight not just water weight. August was my b-day and now it is october and i've gained all that weight back. I've been eating horribly and yesterday was the first time i've went for a run in about 2 months. Now that winter is comming on i feel empty. I hate the cold. It makes me a lot less motivated and makes me want to hibernate. Im completly ashamed of myself. I have to start writting everything i eat down again. Tracking how much i put in and how much i exert out... it seems to be the only thing i've found to work for me.

I think back to a couple months ago when i lost that weight. I really did feel amazing. My boyfriend said he really couldn't tell a difference (we see each other every day)...but i think subconciously he did. I felt he did. The way he would hold me was different.

How could I let myself just throw all that away?

Support would be appreciated....i feel like shit.

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Need Help? [12 Oct 2009|11:59am]
[ mood | hopeful ]

Hi everyone,

I thought this might be something of interest to the members of this forum...
There’s a new show on the CW called "Secrets" that is seeking out women 22-26 who are forced to lead a double life between their professional life and their addictive workout routine. The purpose of the show is to provide these women with an outlet to address this issue so as to receive the help they secretly want and desperately need.

If this sounds like something you would be interested in just go to www.cwsecrets.com to apply.


If anyone has questions, feel free to e-mail me directly at kellylafer@gmail.com


Hope this finds someone who could really benefit from this show!

- Kelly
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where is everyone???? [07 Oct 2009|01:30pm]

No one has been posting any more it seems... has this community died?
1 comment|post comment

anyone online? [26 Sep 2009|10:47pm]

i'm new and really need some help..
i think i have bed..
1 comment|post comment

need some help [25 Sep 2009|05:55pm]

[ mood | cold ]

might be a tad triggering or upsetting so I will put this under a cut

problem....Collapse )

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Carbohydrates: All You Need to Know [21 Sep 2009|09:19pm]

Nutrition has never been simpler!
The shortest way to understanding carbohydrates and using them in your favor! Take control of your body today!

Good Carbs

Good Carbs!

Where can I find carbohydrates?
Find out more!
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distorted [16 Sep 2009|01:26pm]

Man, those images of skinny girls looking into mirrors and seeing fat girls are SO right on. I used to think they were dumb, but it is how I feel now. I have people tell me I'm thin, but what I see in the mirror and what I feel under my clothes is NOT.

How can this be?
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[09 Sep 2009|02:29pm]

Had some more down turns...

I'd been so busy I wasn't able to make it to the gym and everything I ate made me feel soooooooo heavy.

My work schedule was changed so now the gym isn't on the way home from work. Now I am getting up at 5am so I can workout before work so I don't have to make an extra trip and waste gas/money.

Took my first 5:30am spin class this morning. I sweat like a pig >_< I can't seem to get through the whole workout like everyone else. I have to slow down a bit and rest before going on. There's overweight people in there who can make it through the whole thing! There's really old people in there who can do it! What the heck is wrong with me?! I just get to where I feel like my legs can't push me up any more. I get the same thing in the body-bar classes, except with my arms. They're less like noodles now (hooray!) but still pretty weak, apparently.

My weight is in the same range still. I've been feeling really bloated lately, though. Bought some anti-gas pills in hopes that it's all air, but so far not much relief. I'm thinking of trying a laxative, but I'm scared of explosive outcomes >_< I've never used them before and don't really know what to look for. All I've ever really had were those fiber cookies when I was younger and those never helped at all.
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Opinons? [04 Sep 2009|01:56pm]

So im just curious what you guys think. What do you think is more important for me to be concearned about. My overall calories for the day, or my net calories?

So say I eat 1,300 cal
Burn off 800

That leaves my net cals at 500. So should I eat more, or just leave it at that?

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