green_icy_envy (green_icy_envy) wrote in feedyourmind,

Why hello there!

Havn't posted in forever....basically. Im just too ashamed of myself. I was doing SO unbelievably well!!!! Then my b-day came and it ALLL went downhill. I decided a little bit of this, a little bit of that was okay and i lost control. Over 3 months before i managed to lose about 10lbs of weight. REAL weight not just water weight. August was my b-day and now it is october and i've gained all that weight back. I've been eating horribly and yesterday was the first time i've went for a run in about 2 months. Now that winter is comming on i feel empty. I hate the cold. It makes me a lot less motivated and makes me want to hibernate. Im completly ashamed of myself. I have to start writting everything i eat down again. Tracking how much i put in and how much i exert out... it seems to be the only thing i've found to work for me.

I think back to a couple months ago when i lost that weight. I really did feel amazing. My boyfriend said he really couldn't tell a difference (we see each other every day)...but i think subconciously he did. I felt he did. The way he would hold me was different.

How could I let myself just throw all that away?

Support would be appreciated....i feel like shit.

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